Life is good. I have a husband that I love. A son who’s silliness makes my days fun. I also have a baby growing in me who likes to say hi, by kicking my tummy. I am so thankful for all this.
But even so life is not easy.
**
Kisses will fix anything. Won’t they?
Gregory – “read this mommy”
Mommy – “My head hurts”
Gregory – Kisses my head “read it mommy”
Mommy – “Thank you for kissing my head, but I still hurt a little bit and can’t read your book”
Gregory – “But I kissed your head”
Mommy – laughing a little “Daddy will read it after dinner”
Gregory – “Ok” he says with a sigh.
(I can read a little, but mostly it is memorization. I try to find a letter on the page and read enough to help my memory and I recite the book from that. When I have a headache or my eyes are tired trying to do this is just too much.)
**
I have given up on feeling better during this pregnancy. I have both physical and emotional discomfort. I am just going to feel crappy. I will be happy about it though because I only have three and a half months left. Nine months of feeling bad is worth the end result and boy am I excited about this new baby.
Cullen has been great support. He has been taking care of things with out me having to ask a hundred times. Like many husbands Cullen has memory problems when I ask him to do things. He has been remembering lately. He has also done things without me even asking.
**
Potty Training
Uh… it is what it is. Gregory wears underware all day. He usually pees in the potty, but for the last several weeks he has decided he is not going to poop in the potty. He knows if he does he will get a new matchbox car. He wants the car, but I guess not enough.
For two weeks we just had him in underware at night too. Every single night he wet the bed. So, now he is back in a pull-up at night.
I don’t want to make this a struggle, because Gregory is a very strong willed little boy when he wants to be.
For now I keep him in underwear during the day even though we are having accidents.
I shall not give up!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Indian hats
012209 finished indian hat Gregory and Mommy
Originally uploaded by smileahug.
I try to keep Gregory busy by playing outside and making crafts. This is a picture of the Indian hats we made out of construction paper.
There are feathers, buttons, jewels, glitter, paint, and other sparkles.
Gregory loves making crafts.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Yea we have our first snow
We finally got our first real snow today and we all felt well enough to go out and play. I was very happy about this, because I bought a little round sled in November and had almost given up on using it this winter. We were able to today.
We found a couple little hills and went down them. Cullen would only go down once. Gregory went down several times, but was a little nervous about it. Between the three of us I had the most fun. I sled down a bunch of times. It was pretty safe because it wasn’t very steep and the sled didn’t go far, but it was fun! Also it was easy, because the sled didn’t go far it took only a couple seconds to go back up. I hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. I was very careful. I was not about to risk hurting my pregnant belly.
The simple joy of the little hill made me just so happy. I have had so much anxiety and feelings of depression lately that life has just felt like a bit much. Today I was just really happy being outside having fun. That snow really lifted my spirits.
Gregory wanted to make a snowman, but the snow was too dry for that. So, after playing for a while Gregory got cold. We decided we better get him back in. On the walk home he started crying. I guess the cold was a bit much for him. He stopped when we got inside and changed his clothes.
Then Gregory and I had some hot chocolate.
Oh it was such a fun morning.
**
This past weekend we went and got two parakeets, one yellow, one white. The white one I named sugar and the yellow one I named butter. They are very sweet birds.
Parakeets are very easy to care for. Their noises make me happy. They also aren’t too loud which is good.
**
Daddy had gone to work and I was in Gregory’s room with him.
Gregory decided to play pretend.
Gregory – “I be Daddy”. He looked at me “you be Mommy”. Then Gregory lifted up my shirt, touched my belly and said “you be Gregory.”
I thought that was too cute.
We found a couple little hills and went down them. Cullen would only go down once. Gregory went down several times, but was a little nervous about it. Between the three of us I had the most fun. I sled down a bunch of times. It was pretty safe because it wasn’t very steep and the sled didn’t go far, but it was fun! Also it was easy, because the sled didn’t go far it took only a couple seconds to go back up. I hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. I was very careful. I was not about to risk hurting my pregnant belly.
The simple joy of the little hill made me just so happy. I have had so much anxiety and feelings of depression lately that life has just felt like a bit much. Today I was just really happy being outside having fun. That snow really lifted my spirits.
Gregory wanted to make a snowman, but the snow was too dry for that. So, after playing for a while Gregory got cold. We decided we better get him back in. On the walk home he started crying. I guess the cold was a bit much for him. He stopped when we got inside and changed his clothes.
Then Gregory and I had some hot chocolate.
Oh it was such a fun morning.
**
This past weekend we went and got two parakeets, one yellow, one white. The white one I named sugar and the yellow one I named butter. They are very sweet birds.
Parakeets are very easy to care for. Their noises make me happy. They also aren’t too loud which is good.
**
Daddy had gone to work and I was in Gregory’s room with him.
Gregory decided to play pretend.
Gregory – “I be Daddy”. He looked at me “you be Mommy”. Then Gregory lifted up my shirt, touched my belly and said “you be Gregory.”
I thought that was too cute.
An Award
awardI got this lovely award from
Jenn
Thanks! It made me feel quite special.
I would like to pass it on to all of my bloggy friends. I hate linking because it takes me forever, due to being blind.
You guys are great and I do believe all of you have commented on some of my posts in January. So, if you made a comment you know I am talking about you.
So please excuse my laziness. I shall blame it on being pregnant and tired.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Fine CHEESE!
012209 Baby belly23wks
Originally uploaded by smileahug.
Lately I have not wanted any pictures taken of me. I have been out of sorts and feeling not very attractive. During my pregnancy with Gregory I took pictures to show how my belly was getting bigger, but I haven’t done that at all for this pregnancy.
Well today I took out the camera and handed it to Cullen. I decided to just do it. I will be 24 weeks pregnant on Saturday. My due date is May 16.
I can’t see how I actually look, because of being blind and all. I am just hoping I look better than I think I look. I am sure my feelings have some to do with me feeling sick.
Well here I am, looking pregnant.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sick but getting better
011909 Gregory and Daddy sleeping
Originally uploaded by smileahug.
Gregory got sick.
I got sick.
Finally Cullen got sick.
Gregory seems to be feeling all better. All he has left is a runny nose.
I am doing much better too, but my ears are clogged and you can imagine how frustrating that is for a blind person. My chest is still a bit tired too. I am hoping I will be feeling completely better by tomorrow or the day after.
Cullen started getting sick about three days ago so he still feels awful. He went to the doctor and she said he has bronchitis. He hasn’t gone to work this whole week.
Gregory always ends up in our bed around three in the morning and stays there till we get up for the day. I was the only one with any room left on the bed. I guess Gregory just decided that daddy’s side was more comfortable that morning.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Just a list of things that are going on.
- Yesterday I cooked a pound of bacon. I ate half of it that night and I ate the other half this morning.
- I mostly crave shrimp but try not to eat too much, because being pregnant I am not allowed to eat fish very often.
- I feel like I am going to gain 100 pounds.
- I only feel pregnant when I feel her moving. When I don’t I just feel fat.
- Gregory has been sick all this week, but is getting better.
- I still have nausea.
- I have heartburn.
- I have headaches
- I ache.
- I pee when I sneeze.
- I am tired.
- I have anxiety. Not today, but most days.
- I don’t want to do anything.
- I love all the comments you guys are leaving on my posts, but I am too tired to read blogs. Just know I appreciate your support.
- Being pregnant with a three year old is a lot harder than being pregnant for the first time.
- Cullen has been helping out with many things.
- I love feeling my baby move inside.
- I like that Gregory talks to his baby sister like she is an invisible friend.
- I reorganized Gregory’s room and I like it better this way.
- Almost all the laundry is done.
- I am falling asleep while I write this.
- I am going to call Cullen at work and then go to sleep.
Good night
- I mostly crave shrimp but try not to eat too much, because being pregnant I am not allowed to eat fish very often.
- I feel like I am going to gain 100 pounds.
- I only feel pregnant when I feel her moving. When I don’t I just feel fat.
- Gregory has been sick all this week, but is getting better.
- I still have nausea.
- I have heartburn.
- I have headaches
- I ache.
- I pee when I sneeze.
- I am tired.
- I have anxiety. Not today, but most days.
- I don’t want to do anything.
- I love all the comments you guys are leaving on my posts, but I am too tired to read blogs. Just know I appreciate your support.
- Being pregnant with a three year old is a lot harder than being pregnant for the first time.
- Cullen has been helping out with many things.
- I love feeling my baby move inside.
- I like that Gregory talks to his baby sister like she is an invisible friend.
- I reorganized Gregory’s room and I like it better this way.
- Almost all the laundry is done.
- I am falling asleep while I write this.
- I am going to call Cullen at work and then go to sleep.
Good night
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It’s a…
UDO2 Crop Reduce
Originally uploaded by smileahug.
Yeah we gave in and found out.
My doctor wanted to check up on my pregnancy. So an ultrasound was ordered.
Well the ultrasound was this past Monday and I guess Gregory is going to have a sister.
They asked if we wanted to know and we said sure.
I really didn’t care either way. I thought it would be great for Gregory to have a brother, but I also wanted a little girl.
I do guess I will be having a little girl.
It all is so exciting!
She looks good and healthy. The only thing is the cord is low and they want to do another ultrasound at 28 weeks to make sure it comes up. I really hope it does, because a C-section sounds so scary. So here is hoping I don’t have to experience that.
Oh and Cullen was able to feel the baby move for the first time on January first. I thought that was an awesome new years present for him.
If you want to see the rest of the ultrasound pictures just click on the picture and it should take you to my Flickr pictures.
Smiles!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
And the noise wars begin
We got new neighbors downstairs about two months ago. They decided to blast us out with their music. We know the owner of the condo so Cullen talked to him. He talked to his tenants about the noise issue. They had a surround system and were blasting it every day. It was so bad that I didn’t even bother watching TV when it was on, because I could barely hear my TV. Being blind and all I don’t feel comfortable going downstairs to talk to the neighbors. Cullen did several times though. If the loud music only went on every once and a while I wouldn’t have a problem, but it was every day.
For the past week we haven’t heard much of the music. I can still hear it but it isn’t too loud and I am able to watch TV if I want.
Yesterday one of the neighbors came up. Cullen was at work. I answered the door. She said that if they were going to be considerate to us we needed to be considerate to them. She said that Gregory was making too much noise. She said that she was home all day because she fell down the stairs when she first moved in. I am sorry she fell, but how was this my fault? She said that it sounded like he was running a four wheeler all over the place and banging things on the floor all the time.
She said that she is understanding of noise made by children. I didn’t understand that statement though because she came up just to complain about Gregory.
I told her I understood about children’s noises because we also have a young child who lives above us. I said I understood but there wasn’t much I could do about the noise Gregory makes.
I don’t let Gregory jump around the house and sometimes things fall but I am sure she probably drops things too. I think she just wanted to get back in some way for the noise complaint we made about them. We didn’t call the police though. We could have called the police and they would have gotten in trouble with the law, but we are trying to keep things nice. Oh and not only was it loud in our place because of their music, but if you were standing outside of the building you could hear the music blasting too.
Normally we wouldn’t have complained, but it was an everyday thing. Also living in a condo we are going to hear our neighbors and that is just the way it is. Although, we should be able to hear our TV over the neighbors noise. Or at least I don’t think that is too much to ask.
Oh dear anxiety!
And if anyone knows how to keep a three year old from making noise please let me know.
For the past week we haven’t heard much of the music. I can still hear it but it isn’t too loud and I am able to watch TV if I want.
Yesterday one of the neighbors came up. Cullen was at work. I answered the door. She said that if they were going to be considerate to us we needed to be considerate to them. She said that Gregory was making too much noise. She said that she was home all day because she fell down the stairs when she first moved in. I am sorry she fell, but how was this my fault? She said that it sounded like he was running a four wheeler all over the place and banging things on the floor all the time.
She said that she is understanding of noise made by children. I didn’t understand that statement though because she came up just to complain about Gregory.
I told her I understood about children’s noises because we also have a young child who lives above us. I said I understood but there wasn’t much I could do about the noise Gregory makes.
I don’t let Gregory jump around the house and sometimes things fall but I am sure she probably drops things too. I think she just wanted to get back in some way for the noise complaint we made about them. We didn’t call the police though. We could have called the police and they would have gotten in trouble with the law, but we are trying to keep things nice. Oh and not only was it loud in our place because of their music, but if you were standing outside of the building you could hear the music blasting too.
Normally we wouldn’t have complained, but it was an everyday thing. Also living in a condo we are going to hear our neighbors and that is just the way it is. Although, we should be able to hear our TV over the neighbors noise. Or at least I don’t think that is too much to ask.
Oh dear anxiety!
And if anyone knows how to keep a three year old from making noise please let me know.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
2009
Another year has begun. I would have to say that I feel that this year will be a good one. Christmas went so well and the feeling has just carried over. This feeling is so great it is a feeling of caring, I think. I feel like everything will be alright.
There are several things that cause stress, but I somehow know it will work out. Things like money. We have enough to pay our bills and to buy groceries, but no extra. We rarely ever go out to do things that cost money, like eating out, a movie, or anything else like that. We especially don’t leave Gregory with a babysitter, unless the sitter is free, like Nana, and we pay her in love. So going on a “date night” is not going to happen. Yes, we know children cost money and we are having another.
Now to explain how I feel about things. It is true that we can rarely afford to go out to eat, but we have plenty of food in the fridge and pantry. Not only is the food we make cheaper, but it is also healthier. To tell you the truth I enjoy eating at home much more than I do eating out. I grew up eating home cooked food and I found I like doing that much more than going out to eat. Every once and a while a meal out is fun though.
As far as going out for fun we live very close to D.C. and there are many free museums and other activities going on. It is all a metro ride away. There is also a very nice place for a nature walk called Huntley Medows. I can’t see them, but there are deer, frogs, birds, and lots of other animals to see there. I really enjoy going there for walks. It is so peaceful. I love being outside. When it is warm enough Gregory and I spend many hours of the day walking and playing outside.
About that “date night” I have had friends tell us it is important to go out and spend time with just each other. I do know this together time is very important. There aren’t many things that I do like to do out of the house with Cullen. I think going to see a movie is nice and all but you aren’t actually spending time connecting. I don’t think you really need another person to go to see a movie with. We could eat out, but I have explained how I feel about that. If I am going to spend time together with Cullen I would rather use the few hours doing something else. I do like to play pool, but not that often, a babysitter would be nice to have for that. I think I would enjoy going to a ball or a very dressy evening most of all.
For our “date nights” we spend time at home after Gregory is sleeping. We usually play games. This is our connection time. Sometimes we rent a movie.
We haven’t done this in a while, but I would put on an evening gown and Cullen would wear a suit and we would have dinner by candlelight and do some dancing. Those were some fun nights. I am going to have to do that again soon, before my belly is too big to fit into a dress. I think I like nights like this at home, because I don’t have to worry about the way I eat or if I am not doing something right. Plus I don’t feel like a white cane and an evening gown go together. I feel like I stick out. When it is just Cullen and me I don’t feel blind. It is funny but at home I feel like I can see perfectly. I don’t feel like an oddity of humanity. I can do it all at home, probably because I know where everything is. When Cullen puts something in the wrong place I feel blind though. It is funny but when things are where they should be I feel like I can see them there.
Oh yes back to my post.
One wonderful thing about 2009 is that my second baby will be born this year. The only thing I have to say about having children is that if you wait till you can “afford” them you will never have them. Cullen and I can provide the four most important things food, clothing, shelter, and love.
Most of all I am happy and I just have so many things to be thankful for.
I do hope you guys are having a good new year so far too.
There are several things that cause stress, but I somehow know it will work out. Things like money. We have enough to pay our bills and to buy groceries, but no extra. We rarely ever go out to do things that cost money, like eating out, a movie, or anything else like that. We especially don’t leave Gregory with a babysitter, unless the sitter is free, like Nana, and we pay her in love. So going on a “date night” is not going to happen. Yes, we know children cost money and we are having another.
Now to explain how I feel about things. It is true that we can rarely afford to go out to eat, but we have plenty of food in the fridge and pantry. Not only is the food we make cheaper, but it is also healthier. To tell you the truth I enjoy eating at home much more than I do eating out. I grew up eating home cooked food and I found I like doing that much more than going out to eat. Every once and a while a meal out is fun though.
As far as going out for fun we live very close to D.C. and there are many free museums and other activities going on. It is all a metro ride away. There is also a very nice place for a nature walk called Huntley Medows. I can’t see them, but there are deer, frogs, birds, and lots of other animals to see there. I really enjoy going there for walks. It is so peaceful. I love being outside. When it is warm enough Gregory and I spend many hours of the day walking and playing outside.
About that “date night” I have had friends tell us it is important to go out and spend time with just each other. I do know this together time is very important. There aren’t many things that I do like to do out of the house with Cullen. I think going to see a movie is nice and all but you aren’t actually spending time connecting. I don’t think you really need another person to go to see a movie with. We could eat out, but I have explained how I feel about that. If I am going to spend time together with Cullen I would rather use the few hours doing something else. I do like to play pool, but not that often, a babysitter would be nice to have for that. I think I would enjoy going to a ball or a very dressy evening most of all.
For our “date nights” we spend time at home after Gregory is sleeping. We usually play games. This is our connection time. Sometimes we rent a movie.
We haven’t done this in a while, but I would put on an evening gown and Cullen would wear a suit and we would have dinner by candlelight and do some dancing. Those were some fun nights. I am going to have to do that again soon, before my belly is too big to fit into a dress. I think I like nights like this at home, because I don’t have to worry about the way I eat or if I am not doing something right. Plus I don’t feel like a white cane and an evening gown go together. I feel like I stick out. When it is just Cullen and me I don’t feel blind. It is funny but at home I feel like I can see perfectly. I don’t feel like an oddity of humanity. I can do it all at home, probably because I know where everything is. When Cullen puts something in the wrong place I feel blind though. It is funny but when things are where they should be I feel like I can see them there.
Oh yes back to my post.
One wonderful thing about 2009 is that my second baby will be born this year. The only thing I have to say about having children is that if you wait till you can “afford” them you will never have them. Cullen and I can provide the four most important things food, clothing, shelter, and love.
Most of all I am happy and I just have so many things to be thankful for.
I do hope you guys are having a good new year so far too.
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