Ahhh… I am awake, but tired

My week as I remember:
Monday – I did not feel quite right. I slept most of the day and in the evening I played with Gregory.
Tuesday – I went to work. Started feeling very bad. I could barely walk when Cullen picked me up from the Metro.
Wednesday – I stayed home from work and went to the doctor. The doctor gave me some medicine for strep throat. Other than that I slept.
Thursday – I was home again from work and slept.
Friday – I went back to work, but did not eat quite enough and felt like I was on a boat. I got home and got Gregory to bed. Then I went strait there myself.
Saturday – Work went well. I feel like part of the world again, but am still a bit fuzzy around the edges.

I feel like all I did this week was sleep, but being sick I needed the sleep to recharge my rundown batteries. I guess I have the next two days to catch up on all the things that need to be done. Thank goodness for my weekend.
You would think with all that sleep I wouldn’t be tired, but I am.

Busy workin

This past week has been crazy. We were so busy at work. I am glad I usually only work eight hour days, because ten hours are just a bit too long. It was spa week which means busy. Oh I am so glad not to have to go to work today. I am cleaning and doing lots of laundry. That is a little easier though.

Well, here are two sweet things:

First –
When Gregory says bye to me this is our routine.
Gregory – “Mommy kiss kiss”.
Mommy – “Ok”
(He kisses me on the lips)
Gregory – “Mommy nose”
(we Eskimo kiss by rubbing our noses together)
Gregory – “Mommy five”
(We high five by slapping hands)
Mommy – “Bye Gregory I love you”
Gregory – “Bye Mommy love you”


Second –
Gregory was trying to make Chocolate coffee today.
I was in the bedroom and Cullen fell asleep on the couch.
Gregory got into the kitchen.
I have one of those coffee makers which you just push a button and coffee goes into the glass.

Daddy woke up to find
Coffee all over the counter along with a full glass of coffee and Ovaltine dust everywhere.

Yes he is my son he likes both chocolate and coffee in the morning.
(No, I don’t let him have coffee! I am not that crazy. He has enough energy without it.)

Gregory should be sleeping, but...
Gregory is cookin in his play kitchen. Well he came over to me just now and handed me a cup.

Gregory – “Mommy coffee hot”
Mommy – (I pick up the cup “ouch too hot!”
Gregory – “Mommy ok” (He took the cup and kissed my finger.

Oh I do love him! even though he isn't taking his nap like he should.
I am getting off

We love each other

Cullen is nice enough to drive me to work every now and then. Here is one conversation we had.

Cullen – “I wouldn’t trade you for anyone.”
Angela – “Really?”
Cullen – “Maybe one person.”
Angela – “Who?”
Cullen – “Christina Aguilera”
Angela – “Well, I’d trade you for a monkey”

And that is how you know we love each other. Christina Aguilera is not in town and I am not living with a monkey.

How to get Mommy out of bed

Around 5 am Gregory got up and got in bed with Cullen and me. He went back to sleep with us. My alarm went off at 7 am. I reached over, accidentally waking Gregory, and turned it off. Gregory sat up and this is the conversation we had.

Gregory – “Get up Mommy”
Me – “I’m too tired Gregory”
Gregory – “You want water Mommy?”
Me – “No Gregory”
Gregory – “Mommy you want coffee?”
Me – “Yes, yes Gregory I do”
Gregory – “Ok” Gregory then hops down off the bed and heads for the door.
Me – “Gregory I want hot coffee not ice coffee”
Gregory – He stops. There is ice coffee in the fridge that I drink. That is the coffee he was thinking of and the coffee he can easily get for me. I am sure he was wondering how he could get me some hot coffee.
Me – “Daddy can help you” I suggest.
Gregory – He runs back to the bed “DADDY! GET UP!”
Daddy – quiet
Gregory – “DADDY! GET UP! Daddy come on!”
Me – “Gregory wants you to help him make coffee”
Daddy – “Ok” Cullen groggily gets up.

A few minutes later I get out of bed to the smell of freshly brewed coffee.


I guess Gregory knows his Mommy pretty well.

Game Night

Game: Texas Hold’em
Players: Cullen and his lovely wife (that would be me)
Game time: 40 minutes
Winner: Lovely wife (Me! Me! Me!)

Tense but exciting moment: It was the last hand Cullen went all in. Angela had 240 more than Cullen. The cards were all laid out.
Cullen’s cards – 7 and a King
Angela’s cards – 7 and a King

Now how awesome was that? That hand was a draw. I won in the end but it is not very often when you will both end up with the same cards.

Game rating: Fun!!!

I guess even Elmo needs a change

041308 Gregory changing elmo's diaper.JPG
Originally uploaded by smileahug.

Picture this:
Gregory comes running out into the living room.
He has in his hands Elmo, a diaper, and about fourty wipes.
Gregory wipes Elmo
Then he precedes to try to diaper Elmo.
Finally, Gregory unable to make the diaper stay on Elmo, gets Mommy to do it.

I salvaged as many wipes as possible, but I guess the diaper now belongs to Elmo.

My Randomness

My dad picked me up from work today. Gregory was sleeping in the backseat. We got home and Gregory opened his eyes for a couple minutes. All he did was sit on the couch. Gregory fell back asleep. So all I saw of my child today was his cute snoozing self.
Today I did seven massages. I feel quite good. I am tired, but I love being busy. When I am busy the day goes by so much quicker.
Did you know peanut butter and honey sandwiches are actually quite filling and very good?
I watched “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter” today on Lifetime. Now I do have to go read the book. My mom read the book. During the movie I called my mom about eight times to ask her what was going on. The movie had a lot of visual stuff that I couldn’t comprehend with out dialog. So my Mom who lives on the other side of the country told me what happened. She is my own personal describer. She does pretty well for watching the TV from another state.
Cullen’s brother, his sister in-law, and his mom are in town. I probably won’t see them because they can’t get together tomorrow or Monday. Next week is spa week and one of the wraps are half off. This means that we are busy and I am getting half of what I am usually paid, but hopefully I will get some new requests. Oh yes and I have to work till 8 pm every day next week except for Friday and Saturday, when I work till 7 pm. Cullen and Gregory will probably spend some time with them on Wednesday when Cullen is off work.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Hopefully it will be a beautiful day. I want to go for a walk with my two men. I want to enjoy the weather.
Need a spicy historical romance? Then read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I have read the first three books and boy do they take me to a different place. After reading the books for a while I am off in la la land. Ah can you hear my heart go thump thump thump? I want to go to Scotland.
(Sigh)
Life is just an adventure. I guess I shall take it and make it interesting.
Hope you guys have a good weekend.
Now to my wine and blogs

I’m Blind not Deaf

Since I have been a bit down lately I decided to treat myself to a movie. I got off work a bit early and went to the movie theater. I can watch movies at the theater because the one I go to has descriptive video. I described descriptive video in this post and this post. The movie I saw was Leatherheads with George Clooney. I thought it was pretty good. There were a few spots I thought were funny.
When I got to the theater I asked for the headset for descriptive video. They kept giving me the headset that makes the sound louder. I told them I could hear just fine I wanted the headset that would describe the movie. They acted like I did not know what I was talking about. Good grief!!! I was nice though. I suggested to them there were different headsets and I needed the one that would describe the movie and not make it louder. I said nicely that I was blind and so I couldn’t see very well and that my ears could hear very well so I didn’t need the movie louder. Finally a manager came to talk to me and she found the correct headset after the movie had started. I only missed two minutes. I was frustrated, but at least I had the right headset. They really need to give the people some training about the stupid headsets. I guess some people don’t know the difference between blind and deaf.
While going in and out of the theater I saw a preview for a movie. I am not sure what it was for, because I well couldn’t see the screen. I can’t remember the exact words but this is what the preview said (this was said in a voice that made you feel like something frightening was going to happen) (NOT Exact Words):

THE ONLY THING MORE SCARY THAN BEING BLIND, IS BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN SEE.

After hearing this I cracked up laughing. I don’t know what the preview was for, but…
It was just too funny. I guess if you think being blind is scary. I had to cover my mouth. I am sure the people around me thought I was a nut.
Thinking about the statement it is very demeaning to me, but I guess I could understand. If the world was made for the blind and not the sighted things would be much different. I mean the sighted person would have to learn how to adapt. Could you get around on your computer without using your mouse? Or could you read without looking at a book? How would you look if you weren’t able to use a mirror to get dressed in the morning? Not that it would matter much with everyone else being blind.

Just some thoughts. I feel quite better tonight.
Thanks for caring about my mellowness.
Smiles!

***Update

Cullen got home from work and looked on the internet to figure out what movie I had heard the preview for.

It is called “Blindness”

And the part that I quoted actually said
“The only thing more terrifying than blindness is being the only one who can see”

It is about a virus that makes people lose their vision.

I just found out it is a book. I think I will read it, written by Jose Saramago.

Oh mellow me

Today the sun was shining. It was warm enough not to need a coat. It felt very lovely. Unfortunately I was in more of a rainy and foggy mood. Today I had a feeling of loneliness. Some things have been a bit overwhelming lately. I feel as if I need an escape from life. If I could just take a few moments and stay up in the clouds. I would have nothing to worry myself over. It would be nice not to have all this responsibility weighing itself down on my shoulders.
Gregory is in bed and Cullen is at work. I am basically all alone. I guess that is good though, because I have so much to say but no one I want to say it to. I feel as if no one would understand. Even if someone would understand how I feel who really wants to hear about these feelings. It seems like everyone around me has so many more substantial problems.
The good thing is that tomorrow will be different than today. I will wake up with a smile. There is so much possibility in life after you have had a night of sleep.

I will end this post with a happy thought I have had in my head since yesterday.

Cullen picked me up from the metro yesterday. He had picked Gregory up from preschool prior to getting me. He said that Gregory’s teacher said that Gregory is so excited to see me when I pick him up from preschool. More excited than when daddy or the babysitter picks him up.
That made me feel very good.
I do take Gregory to Chuck E. Cheese after I pick him up usually, but I just like to think he is just so happy to see his Mommy and not because he knows where mommy is taking him.

What do you share with people you have never met before?

I don’t know why but people that I have never met before confess things to me. That I don’t think they would normally tell a random person. Today I was riding the bus to get to the metro. As soon as I got off the bus a man who was also on the bus caught up with me and started walking by my side. He said hi and told me how he is concerned about the new commute he would have to make next week, because his job is moving to a new location. I had not said a word to this man except for a reply of hello. I got to the gates of the metro and he told me to have a nice trip and I did the same. Then we went in different directions. I don’t know why he was compelled to tell me about his concern. I didn’t mind listening. I just wonder why. I have a few different theories:

- I have always been one to listen when a person has a problem and maybe people see this in me.
- I walk with my cane and so people know that I am blind. It could be possible that they feel like they can confide in me because I don’t know who they are and can’t see them therefore they don’t feel judged.
- They may think that because I am blind I want to hear of their problems. I don’t know why but maybe they think I would be more understanding.
- Or maybe it is because I am a woman and they like the way I look. Men are usually the people who feel compelled to talk to me.

For whatever reason people decide to talk to me I don’t know. I am glad I make people feel at ease. Some days I don’t mind and I enjoy it. Other days I just want to be in my own little world and want to be left alone.

Blogging while blindfolded or just plain blind

Here are a couple of questions I was asked:

just Jamie asked:
I try to imagine blogging while blind-folded. Even with the aid of technology that reads for me, I can't figure out how you do it, and do it well. Do you
drag a mouse over a text area, and it reads it to you? How do you embed photos, click the right tiny areas, etc?

and

Damama T asked:
If you have time, I, too, would love to know how you manage to maintain such a virtually flawless blog.


Thank you for the questions and compliments. Now to answer the questions.

Blogging… Well, I am able to do it because I was trained on how to use JAWS. No, no, no, (shakes head) not the shark and not my teeth either. JAWS is software. It is a screen reader that I have installed on my normal computer that reads to me.
JAWS has three cursors. Yes I said three. The arrow cursor is one cursor. It is called the JAWS Cursor. The little flashing line which you see when you are typing in programs such as Microsoft Word is called the PC Cursor. The third cursor is one that is used for the internet. It is called the Virtual PC Cursor. This cursor reads WebPages and easily finds forms and edit boxes. These three cursors read what the cursor is on. I do not use a mouse due to the difficulty of not being able to see the computer screen. I move my cursors and do everything on my computer with my key board. My number pad is basically how I control my cursors. I turn off the number pad and it turns into my JAWS controller. I can make my reader read the whole page, just a line, just a word, or even just a letter. My reader doesn’t describe pictures. So, if there is a picture I cannot tell what it is of unless a description is given in text. My reader won’t read pictures of text either.
I am on my computer almost every day if only for a second to check my email. So, I don’t necessarily think of what I am doing to navigate my computer I just do it. So even though it will take some thinking I will write up the steps I take to make a blog post.

1. I press the “windows key” and the “M” key to minimize all the things I have up on the screen.
2. I press the “I” key until JAWS says internet explorer
3. I press “enter” to open up internet explorer
4. I press “alt” to move my cursor up to the file menu
5. I press the right arrow key three times to reach the Favorites menu
6. I push the down arrow once then press the “L” key twice to reach a menu I have named login.
7. From there I press the right arrow once and the down arrow once. I then press the “enter” key because I have reached my link to blogger.
8. Blogger comes up. If I have to enter my user name and password I press the “F” key to find forms. I keep pressing “F” until I have reached the right spot. Jaws says “Username (email):”. I press “enter” because that is where I want to be.
9. I am now in the form. I enter my username.
10. I “tab” once and this takes me to the next form which is password. I enter it then either tab till I reach the sign in button or just press “enter” and this then logs me in.
11. So, I want to make a post I hold down “0” and the “F7” key at the same time. This takes me to a links list box. This box has all the links on this page.
12. I push “N” because I want the link that says “New Post”. I could push the down arrow till I got to the link but that takes longer. Then I “enter” to click on the link.
13. The form for a new post comes up. I press “F” to reach the title form field. I press “enter” when I get there. This enables me to type in what I want my title to be.
14. I then “tab” over to the “edit” and type what I want my post to say.
15. After finishing I “tab” over to the “publish post” button and press “enter”.
16. Then magically my post appears on my blog.

Wow step by step instructions. I think I did pretty well. I had to actually do the steps while I was typing them, because I don’t think about it while I am doing it.

I like to use Flickr for my pictures. So, to put pictures on my blog I first email them to my Flickr account. There is a way for you email and it goes directly on your blog, but I have had too many issues with that. So, I do it this way. I then go to my Flickr page and press the blog this button using my cursors. I enter in my title and post. I press enter. It magically appears on my blog.
Blogger is not as compatible with me when I want to put pictures in the middle of my post, because JAWS stops reading. So, to do that I need someone with working eyes to help. I would rather just do it on my own. That is why I only usually only have one picture per post and the picture is at the top of the post.

For the other things you see on my blog. I don’t want ads, because I just don’t. I know they could bring me a little money, but I like it ad free. I don’t have a blog role, because things like that take me much longer and give me much more frustration than they are worth. I don’t know how people put up pictures in their side bar. That would be nice, but I am fine with it the way it is. Right now my archives are monthly. If I continue blogging for another twenty years I will have to change that or just have a very long list.

Oh to further add I can connect the cursors. To explain better, suppose I have my Virtual PC Cursor on a spot on the internet and I want to comment. Well, for the most part I just push the “enter” button. Unfortunately, some blogs make me work a bit harder. So, when pressing “enter” won’t work I have to connect the JAWS Cursor to the Virtual PC Cursor. I do this by, holding down the “0” button and pressing the “-“. The “-“ is the JAWS Cursor. So anytime I want to use I push that key. The “+” key is the PC Cursor. The Virtual PC Cursor automatically comes on when I am using the internet and when the internet is on to use that cursor I also use the “+” key. I can turn the Virtual PC Cursor off with another command and the PC Cursor will come on but there really is not much point because that cursor doesn’t work well with the internet.

Wow! What a long post. I hope that answered your questions. If I missed anything feel free to mention it.

I have answered all the questions I had so if there are anymore floating questions about anything speak up.

Smiles!!!

Hat backwards?

040608 Gregory.JPG
Originally uploaded by smileahug.

He is cute. I think I will just let him wear it that way.
I do wonder why he prefers the hat this way though.

So excited he fell asleep

040608 Gregory sleeping.JPG
Originally uploaded by smileahug.

Gregory’s favorite movie is Disney’s “CARS”.
I haven’t let him watch it for over a month.
Today I turned the movie on.

This was his reaction –
Gasp
Gasp
“Cars!”
Big smile
“Yea!”
Claps hands

Then I set him up with his pillow with his Cars pillowcase and his Cars blanket.
He watched the movie for about ten minutes and then fell asleep.

Where is the coin slot?

A couple of days ago Cullen, Gregory, and I went to the store. After we finished shopping we headed out to the car. Gregory and I got in the car while Cullen loaded up the groceries.
I let Gregory sit in the drivers seat. He happily grabbed on to the wheel, pretending to drive. Gregory then saw daddy’s change holder with coins.
“Pennies!” Gregory said excited.
He then proceeded to try to find the coin slot in the car to make the car go.
This made me laugh.
I guess he figured that if coins make cars go at Chuck E. Cheese they must work on regular cars too.

I hear a RINGing

It is my husband calling.
Remember when I mentioned Cullen lost my wedding rings. They have been missing since February 12th. I knew that I gave the rings to Cullen. Cullen didn’t remember me giving him the rings. Well guess what. Cullen found my wedding rings and Gregory’s birthstone ring in HIS coat pocket. He told me he had checked his coat before, but I guess he skipped that pocket. Um… no need to say I told you so. I was just so stressed out about my missing rings. I am so thankful that they are not lost anymore. Right now the rings are at work with Cullen. I haven’t actually seen the found rings yet. I just pray that they will make it home. Those rings were not replaceable due to their sentimental value.
You know I do love my husband even though he lost my rings.
He loves me too.
He showed his love for me this morning. I woke up with an awful headache. Gregory was up and making it hard for me to rest. Tired Cullen got out of bed and took the wild child out into the living room so I could get a little more rest before I had to go to work.
You know it is the little things.

YEA!!! I feel so much better now that my rings are back.

Free the animals

032508 Gregory and Moses.JPG
Originally uploaded by smileahug.

Nana watches Gregory most Saturdays. A few weeks ago Nana took out Moses and let Gregory hold him. Moses is a bird. Since then Gregory has wanted all animals out of their cages.
He saw some fish and said “I want fish get out”.
He doesn’t quite understand that the poor fish will die if they get out.
I guess it is good that he cares about animal’s freedom

No, I want to be grouchy!

Wonderful Women of the Web Award

This morning I was very grouchy and just in a bad mood. I would have to say partly to an argument with Cullen although I don’t remember quite what about and well, I hate to blame PMS but I think that my hormones played a role in my mood. I probably didn’t eat enough chocolate either. Well, I got to work and I was all set to be in a bad mood. My plan was to be grouchy until ten minutes till my first massage when I would magically turn myself into the happiest person on earth. Let me tell you that didn’t work at all.
You see John, he is another massage therapist and the massage manager guy, ruined my plan. He saw me in the hall and came over. He started talking to me about this woman’s muscles and so on. Then he said how he had this great hiking trip with his wife and how his muscles were so sore. (I guess being a massage therapist I talk about muscles more than an average person). Well during this conversation he was happy. Do you see how that ruined my plans? I have a hard time staying in a bad mood when I am surrounded by people who are happy.
Well, I then had a smile, so much for my plans. I am the type of person who you can easily tell is happy. I may hum, sing (off tune), skip, tell everyone hello, and be sickeningly cheerful. I don’t know. When I am happy you know I am happy. When I am not well I guess it is easy to tell based upon the way I act when I am happy.
So getting an award made my day even better.

Holly was very sweet and gave me my first blog award. She thinks I am a wonderful woman of the web. I am touched.
So I figured I would also give this award to a couple of bloggers that have touched me.
Violet has a different outlook on life. Her cutie daughter TLM is just a bit older than Gregory and so we tend to be going through similar craziness at times. She posts on the daily stuff but also about aliens. I do think we all could use some out of this world experiences.
Niksmom is a mom like most of us (except for those of us who are men or still wild women). She gives most of herself to her son. She is strong, but knows when to ask for help. I wish I could give her a massage.
Christine is a woman who knows what makes her happy and tries to do the same for others (She sent me chocolate and that is all anyone has to do to make me happy).
just Jamie is a creative mom who tries to brighten everyone’s day.
Kellan like the title of her blog looks at life from the up side even when her world is turned upside down.
Casdok while working on ways to make her sons life better, she has also found many interesting inventions that I would have never known of with out her. I am sure she would get lots of pennies for her thoughts.
Lisa gives me strength on the days when I have had enough of being blind. She is legally blind, has hearing problems and is raising twin boys. It helps to know I am not the only person out there who is treated differently, because of sucky eyesight.

Have smiles everyone! Go and be cheerful!